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This post Better self-esteem: Achieve your goals by managing both your skill and will continues with how you can improve your self-esteem by making changes in your life.
The last post has been about how to improve the chances of reaching your goals.
There must be a personal realization and insight about why it is necessary to change. This is important since all changes create some kind of discomfort making it easier not to change but to stay the same.
Some useful dimensions in evaluating how you can improve to reach your goals is to think in the two dimensions skill and will.
Paul Hersey and Kenneth Blanchard have introduced a matrix based on these two dimensions that have been used in many leadership development programs.
This matrix has two axes which can be applied also to change projects:
One is the level of skill: how competent is the person in completing the specific task, hence the ability level. One can range from low ability to high ability in the different dimensions required to successfully complete the task or implement changes in behaviours.
The other axis is the level of will: How willing is the person to complete the specific task, hence the level of motivation. This is about both the confidence in own abilities and to what extent one sees oneself as responsible to complete the challenge. One can range from low motivation to high motivation.
Find more inspiration on how to increase your self-esteem and well-being in the free blog or in the course How to develop self-esteem and boost your confidence at https://jennyrappbefree.com or the even larger blog archive at https://www.jennyrapp.com/
If you have any questions, write a comment or e-mail me at jennyrapp@jennyrapp.com
Develop self-esteem & boost your confidence
Relationships & inner strength
Create a balanced life & reach your potential
Powerful insights in psychology
HSP: Handle feelings, thoughts & behaviours
Also, see these user-friendly medical research databases:
The world’s largest government funded medical library: www.nlm.nih.gov
Johns Hopkins University: www.hopkinsmedicine.org
Harvard University: www.health.harvard.edu
Oxford university: http://solo.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/
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This post Better self-esteem: Effective change comes from within continues with how to improve your self-esteem by making changes in your life.
Last posts have been about how to improve the chances of reaching your goals.
There must be a personal realization and insight about why it is necessary to change, since all change creates some kind of discomfort making it easier not to change but to stay the same.
This post continues with how you can improve your self-esteem by making changes in your life.
The last post has been about how to improve the chances of reaching your goals.
There must be a personal realization and insight about why it is necessary to change. This is important since all changes create some kind of discomfort making it easier not to change but to stay the same.
Some useful dimensions in evaluating how you can improve to reach your goals is to think in the two dimensions skill and will.
Paul Hersey and Kenneth Blanchard have introduced a matrix based on these two dimensions that have been used in many leadership development programs.
This matrix has two axes:
One is the skill level: how competent is the person in completing the specific task, hence the ability level. One can range from low ability to high ability in the different dimensions required to successfully complete the task.
The other axis is the will level: How willing is the person to complete the specific task, hence the level of motivation. One can range from low motivation to high motivation.
For a starter try this:
Think about your current goal – are you stronger at the skill side or will side?
What 3 things could you do to increase each of them?
Find more inspiration on how to increase your self-esteem and well-being in the free blog or in the course How to develop self-esteem and boost your confidence at https://jennyrappbefree.com or the even larger blog archive at https://www.jennyrapp.com/
If you have any questions, write a comment or e-mail me at jennyrapp@jennyrapp.com
Develop self-esteem & boost your confidence
Relationships & inner strength
Create a balanced life & reach your potential
Powerful insights in psychology
HSP: Handle feelings, thoughts & behaviours
Also, see these user-friendly medical research databases:
The world’s largest government funded medical library: www.nlm.nih.gov
Johns Hopkins University: www.hopkinsmedicine.org
Harvard University: www.health.harvard.edu
Oxford university: http://solo.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/
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This post Better self-esteem: Effective change comes from within continues with how to improve your self-esteem by making changes in your life.
Last posts have been about how to improve the chances of reaching your goals.
Often when a person comes to therapy it is someone else who thinks that the person needs to change: the employer, spouse or the referring doctor.
That is not going to be enough to make lasting changes, since effective personal change has to come from within.
There must be a personal realization and insight about why it is necessary to change, since all change creates some kind of discomfort making it easier not to change but to stay the same.
As mentioned in earlier posts, this is the case since our behaviors are deeply engrained for good reasons: they have often been beneficial for us – we gain something with them.
Also, it is energy preserving to keep doing what has been somewhat working in the past.
In his classical book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey introduced the skill-will matrix that has been helpful, both for individual change and in leadership development programs.
More in the next post about how this can be relevant for you.
Find more inspiration on how to increase your self-esteem and well-being in the free blog or in the course How to develop self-esteem and boost your confidence at https://jennyrappbefree.com or the even larger blog archive at https://www.jennyrapp.com/
If you have any questions, write a comment or e-mail me at jennyrapp@jennyrapp.com
Develop self-esteem & boost your confidence
Relationships & inner strength
Create a balanced life & reach your potential
Powerful insights in psychology
HSP: Handle feelings, thoughts & behaviours
Also, see these user-friendly medical research databases:
The world’s largest government funded medical library: www.nlm.nih.gov
Johns Hopkins University: www.hopkinsmedicine.org
Harvard University: www.health.harvard.edu
Oxford university: http://solo.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/
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This post Better self-esteem: Important questions regarding if the timing of the planned changes is right is about how to improve your self-esteem by making changes in your life.
Last posts have been about how to improve the chances of reaching your goals and improve your self-esteem.
Unexpected stress or difficult life events might make it necessary to reassess your goals.
However, they should not be used as an excuse for not taking steps to steer life in the desired direction, to make the necessary changes to feel better.
Unfortunately, often we underestimate the cost of changing.
Change requires both courage and willingness to experience recurring discomfort.
Here are some more suggestions of important questions you can ask yourself to aid you in this process:
Do I really want to make the related changes?
Are the circumstances right?
Is this the time to stand strong during set-backs?
Is it worth carrying on with the changes?
Do the benefits outweigh the required sacrifices?
Find more inspiration on how to increase your self-esteem and well-being in the free blog or in the course How to develop self-esteem and boost your confidence at https://jennyrappbefree.com or the even larger blog archive at https://www.jennyrapp.com/
If you have any questions, write a comment or e-mail me at jennyrapp@jennyrapp.com
Develop self-esteem & boost your confidence
Relationships & inner strength
Create a balanced life & reach your potential
Powerful insights in psychology
HSP: Handle feelings, thoughts & behaviours
Also, see these user-friendly medical research databases:
The world’s largest government funded medical library: www.nlm.nih.gov
Johns Hopkins University: www.hopkinsmedicine.org
Harvard University: www.health.harvard.edu
Oxford university: http://solo.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/
]]>This post Better self-esteem: Important questions to evaluate your goals is about reassessing your goals.
Last posts have been about how to improve the chances of reaching your goals, more specifically, the importance of:
-rewarding also partial achievements
-having patience and a realistic time-line, since change takes time to achieve on a deeper level
-avoid trying to make large changes in life when stressed, but instead make the source of stress the main target.
At the same time, stress or difficult life events should not be used as an excuse for not taking steps to steer life in the desired direction, to make the necessary changes to feel better.
Here are some suggestions on important questions you can ask yourself to aid you in this process:
Are my goals and planned changes kind towards myself, how?
Would a close friend ask the same of themselves if they had the same goals?
What would I give as advice to my friend?
Find more inspiration on how to increase your self-esteem and well-being in the free blog or in the course How to develop self-esteem and boost your confidence at https://jennyrappbefree.com or the even larger blog archive at https://www.jennyrapp.com/
If you have any questions, write a comment or e-mail me at jennyrapp@jennyrapp.com
Develop self-esteem & boost your confidence
Relationships & inner strength
Create a balanced life & reach your potential
Powerful insights in psychology
HSP: Handle feelings, thoughts & behaviours
Also, see these user-friendly medical research databases:
The world’s largest government funded medical library: www.nlm.nih.gov
Johns Hopkins University: www.hopkinsmedicine.org
Harvard University: www.health.harvard.edu
Oxford university: http://solo.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/
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Last posts were about the importance of expecting changes and making adjustments to achieve your goals when unexpected events occur.
At the same time, stress or difficult events that affect you should not be used as an excuse for not taking responsibility for your life and your future.
This post Better self-esteem: To experience a difference you have to start doing something differently is about the importance to make necessary changes to feel better.
The logic is: If you want to feel differently, you have to start doing something differently.
In the next post I will give some suggestions about important questions you can ask yourself to aid yourself in this change process.
Find more inspiration on how to increase your self-esteem and well-being in the free blog or in the course How to develop self-esteem and boost your confidence at https://jennyrappbefree.com or the even larger blog archive at https://www.jennyrapp.com/
If you have any questions, write a comment or e-mail me at jennyrapp@jennyrapp.com
Develop self-esteem & boost your confidence
Relationships & inner strength
Create a balanced life & reach your potential
Powerful insights in psychology
HSP: Handle feelings, thoughts & behaviours
Also, see these user-friendly medical research databases:
The world’s largest government funded medical library: www.nlm.nih.gov
Johns Hopkins University: www.hopkinsmedicine.org
Harvard University: www.health.harvard.edu
Oxford university: http://solo.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/
]]>Last post Better self-esteem: Why it is important to have a realistic sense of time was about the importance of expecting changes and making adjustments to achieve your goals.
Also, it is important to keep in mind that other factors might impact the outcome and therefore have to be dealt with.
Change takes time to achieve on a deeper level – from 3 weeks for behaviors up to 2-3 years for more profound changes in identity and beliefs.
Overcoming big events in one’s life, such as losing a friend or healing a break-up, usually take at least one year.
We have to go through all the seasons and experience them under the new circumstances in order to have a chance move on. But it can take even longer.
We have to pass through all holidays, vacations and special dates in this new situation while experiencing loss and what is missing. Normally over time we are gaining renewed insights and wider perspectives.
If it takes more than a year, it could be time to seek professional help – if not earlier…
Find more inspiration on how to increase your self-esteem and well-being in the free blog or in the course How to develop self-esteem and boost your confidence at https://jennyrappbefree.com or the even larger blog archive at https://www.jennyrapp.com/
If you have any questions, write a comment or e-mail me at jennyrapp@jennyrapp.com
Develop self-esteem & boost your confidence
Relationships & inner strength
Create a balanced life & reach your potential
Powerful insights in psychology
HSP: Handle feelings, thoughts & behaviours
Also, see these user-friendly medical research databases:
The world’s largest government funded medical library: www.nlm.nih.gov
Johns Hopkins University: www.hopkinsmedicine.org
Harvard University: www.health.harvard.edu
Oxford university: http://solo.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/
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This post Better self-esteem: How timing impacts the possibility of reaching your goals summarizes earlier posts about important considerations when it comes to how you can increase your self-esteem by achieving your goals and improve your life.
Last posts were about the importance of revising goals, being patient, rewarding achievements and having a realistic understanding of the time-line.
This is important since change takes time to achieve on a deeper level – from 3 weeks up to 2-3 years for more profound changes in identity and beliefs.
It is neither realistic nor kind to make large changes in life, such as changing habits, stop smoking or losing weight, when we are having a stressful period in life.
Instead, we need to work on reducing the stress of everyday life, seeking support and talk with our close ones to get back to our normal state and rebuild our resources.
Find more inspiration on how to increase your self-esteem and well-being on the free blog or in the course https://www.jennyrapp.com/self-esteem/ or the even larger blog archive at https://www.jennyrapp.com/
If you have any questions, write a comment or e-mail me at jennyrapp@jennyrapp.com
Develop self-esteem & boost your confidence
Relationships & inner strength
Create a balanced life & reach your potential
Powerful insights in psychology
HSP: Handle feelings, thoughts & behaviours
Also, see these user-friendly medical research databases:
The world’s largest government funded medical library: www.nlm.nih.gov
Johns Hopkins University: www.hopkinsmedicine.org
Harvard University: www.health.harvard.edu
Oxford university: http://solo.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/
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This post Better self-esteem: 4 components that help you achieve your goals summarizes earlier posts about how you can increase your self-esteem by achieving your goals and improve your life.
Changes do not happen by themselves.
We are often run by habits, which is energy conserving, and hence usually an effective strategy to use.
Therefore, to be successful in achieving goals that involves changing our habits, we need the components mentioned in earlier posts:
1 Create SMART goals, that is, detail your goals so that they are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and have a Timeline
2 Have visible, daily reminders of your goals and subgoals
3 Plan a recurrent weekly reflection time to evaluate progress and make adjustments accordingly
4 Celebrate, reward and be grateful for obtained subgoals and finalized goals
If you have any questions, write a comment or e-mail me at jennyrapp@jennyrapp.com
Find more inspiration on how to increase your self-esteem and well-being on the free blog or in the course https://www.jennyrapp.com/self-esteem/ or the even larger blog archive at https://www.jennyrapp.com/
Develop self-esteem & boost your confidence
Relationships & inner strength
Create a balanced life & reach your potential
Powerful insights in psychology
HSP: Handle feelings, thoughts & behaviours
Also, see these user-friendly medical research databases:
The world’s largest government funded medical library: www.nlm.nih.gov
Johns Hopkins University: www.hopkinsmedicine.org
Harvard University: www.health.harvard.edu
Oxford university: http://solo.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/
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This post Get better self-esteem by celebrating your goals continues with how you can increase your self-esteem by achieving your goals and improve your life.
It is important to give yourself a reward for each achieved interim goal and a big reward when the big goal is achieved.
Often, we forget to celebrate and acknowledge what we have achieved, especially if we have not yet completed every single dimension as we had imagined.
Instead, we are often far too though on ourselves and push ourselves forward in an unreasonable pace, hardly stopping to reflect on what we have achieved and where we are.
Research has shown that changing habits usually takes at least 3 weeks, potentially up to 10 weeks, of regular and conscious practice or a minimum of ten thousands attempts when learning a new skill.
Therefore, we could benefit from both being more realistic and kinder to ourselves.
If you have any questions, write a comment or e-mail me at jennyrapp@jennyrapp.com
Find more inspiration on how to increase your self-esteem and well-being on the free blog or in the course https://www.jennyrapp.com/self-esteem/ or the even larger blog archive at https://www.jennyrapp.com/
Develop self-esteem & boost your confidence
Relationships & inner strength
Create a balanced life & reach your potential
Powerful insights in psychology
HSP: Handle feelings, thoughts & behaviours
Also, see these user-friendly medical research databases:
The world’s largest government funded medical library: www.nlm.nih.gov
Johns Hopkins University: www.hopkinsmedicine.org
Harvard University: www.health.harvard.edu
Oxford university: http://solo.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/
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